The Mirror
Hey Friends,
In my last article on ‘What is life’ I talked about my experience of the last four months wherein I had left everything. I’d stopped everything (podcasting, programming, writing blah blah blah) and that was my most prominent mistake I feel, but the most significant mistake teaches us the greatest values. And I got my greatest values from ‘The Mirror’. Yup, it’s kinda bizarre that the mirror is teaching a person values of life.
Life comprises of everything just as the mix-veg I ate lately. The mix-veg contained everything starting from capsicum, to cauliflower, to cottage cheese and whatnot? It even had some spices nourished with dry fruits on the top. Absolutely delicious until capsicum was in my mouth, though never mind. I can’t expect every bite of it to be as mouthwatering as I ever had, there has to be spice making me cry, and cottage cheese making me satisfied, there has to be nuts to full fill my stomach and dry fruits to complete the meal on a pleasing note lol. Similarly, you can’t expect every day to be enjoyed at its fullest, you can’t expect every moment to be fun, to be positive. Do you know what I think?
Rain and thunder with black clouds will for sure cause a rainbow to appear.
And that’s the absolute learning lesson from the mirror, and of this very cheeky article! But wait let me elaborate it a bit so that you get me and we are on the same page of the book named life, full of different chapters of all emotions ever to exist.
Positive and Negative Experience
As I compared life with mix-veg, I am trying to convey the fact that life comprises of goods and bads, maybe neutral at times though we all go through these phases. We all live different kinds of experiences. Remember when you had your first child, how happy were you? Remember when she confessed you to be her love, how contented were you? Remember when you got the sweetest birthday present, how cheerful were you? But do you even remember that you failed, that you just couldn’t make it to the point, you were left out? These are the positive and negative experiences. We never wish someone to live negative experiences, but we always try to encourage for more and more positive experiences and there’s nothing wrong with it. We gotta live positive experiences, but life ain’t fair, buddy! Life’s not gonna provide you with deserts all the time, life’s gonna throw stones at you and you have to accept, tackle them and move ahead. But if you move around past the cover, you gonna hit your back so hard that you’d barely stand up, you’d lose out on something you really gained.
We live in a society where people are gonna constantly tell us to be more and more positive all the time. We are gonna be asked to value everything — how we look, how we feel, how we wanna live, everything should be perfect and great. And regrettably, giving value to more number of things won’t necessarily mean and ensure us to have a more reasonable yet positive life, nope.
A better life is indeed achieved by giving value to things that are actually worth giving and not everything.
Problems and Sufferings
Life itself is a form of suffering — Mark Manson
The reality is that everything we have or we gonna chase is a form of suffering. Remember Uncle Ben from Spider-Man saying ‘With great power comes great responsibility.’? It’s just like that. A rich person suffers because he is rich and so does a poor person who suffers due to poverty.
We all have a wrong undertaking regarding happiness. It’s like:
If I achieve X, then I can be happy. If I look like Y, then I can be happy. If I can be with a person like Z, then I can be happy.
But as per Mark Manson — Happiness isn’t an equation. Sadness, dissatisfaction, unease, etc. are part of inherent human nature and they are the necessary component to create consistent happiness.
But then these are just some of the arguments related to our take on Happiness, how do we actually find happiness. Hold on, read further…
Finding Happiness
The other day I was walking towards the kitchen to grab some food, the dining table, of course, had chairs and while walking my little toe hit one of them and it was painful.
Pain, in all of its form, is our body’s most effective means of spurring action. It helps show us what’s good for us versus what’s bad for us. — Mark Manson
Whether is it physical pain or psychological pain, both of them are vital enough to indicate to us that something’s wrong, something’s going out of our tranquility. These pains then become an experience for us, they help us understand the fact that we should be careful and shouldn’t repeat these mistakes.
Life indeed has endless problems, and as per Mark Manson, the solution to one problem is merely the creation of the next one. Hence we shouldn’t hope for a life without problems but a life full of good problems.
Happiness comes from solving problems. Emphasis on the solving word. Happiness is a constant work-in-progress, True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving. — Mark Manson
Emotions
Seeking something positive always is the cause of our emotions. When we feel things are going great doesn’t mean it’s positive and when things are going worse doesn’t mean it’s negative.
We need to learn to accept the negative emotions, cause pain serves a purpose!
We all frequently seek more positive emotions, but we aren’t gonna feel the same always just like watching a film for the first time and then 100th time. And similarly, we are trying to run away from the negative emotions which then are gonna of course accumulate getting enormous.
We like the idea that there’s some form of ultimate happiness that can be attained. We like the idea that we can alleviate all of our suffering permanently. We like the idea that we can feel fulfilled and satisfied with our lives forever. But we cannot. — Mark Manson
Problems are nothing but the creation of our minds!
The Mirror
Yet I didn’t clarify that how did I get the learnings from a cheeky mirror.
I woke up the other day, lazy and tired. Walked past the bed towards the mirror and saw me. Either I could see myself there, or see a person that I am trying to visualize and look like. A person who wasn’t created by God, but by my mind having zillion thoughts. How we scroll social media, watch other people enjoy, looking great with their hoodies, being popular, productive, rich.
It lasered my shortcomings and emphasized them for me. And it’s the mirror that I’d blame, it’s my mind that I’d blame, it’s the society we live in that tells us to be positive all the time. Sadly, giving valuing everything and also being positive all the time won’t guarantee my life to be better, but a better life can be achieved if I value better things.
I’ve to accept the negative experiences, I’ve to choose my struggles, I’ve to value those things that truly deserve to be given and are worthy.
‘You stand in front of the mirror and repeat affirmations saying that you’re beautiful because you feel as though you’re not beautiful already’ Mark Manson
Standing in front of the mirror and telling myself that it’s gonna be a happy day, I’m looking great, and blah blah are the fake entitlements. Happiness ain’t an equation, negative experiences are part of inherent human nature and they are necessary components to create consistent happiness.
I’d be able to live those good experiences and live a happy life if I solve the problems.
The Mirror was meant to correct me towards looking perfect in my own way, but not walk on some other person’s definition of perfection.
Conclusion
Mirror’s just a reflection of you. It’s now the perspective of how you look at it, whether those are the creation of thousands of thoughts or just a person trying to look perfect in his or her way.
When we try to feel good all the time and avoid negative experiences, A. We run away from the problems that indeed are meant to solve and give us happiness as a gift in return and B. We start to feel entitled to all the good things. We always want positive experiences and we never accept anything negative, anything unfavorable out of our hands. This is an incorrect way to tread adversity! We’re gonna be narcissists with similar thinking. We gotta learn to feel, think, and accept our negative selves.
Entitled people, they are incapable of acknowledging their own problems openly and honestly, are incapable of improving their lives in any lasting or meaningful way. They are left chasing high after high and accumulate greater and greater levels of denial. — Mark Manson
Think about it…
Thank you friends for reading this article, I’m glad hoping that I’ve given some value addition to your life and you can relate to this. Have a great day, cherish every moment, until next time, peace!
Make sure to check out my podcasts — ThatOneThinker
Kabir Khanuja’s Handles— Linktree
